Diary of a Lhasa Apso puppy
Sunday 12th Feb 2017
My human brother, Tom stayed over again last night with Beth. Beth has been training me to eat treats, and I’m doing really well. She keeps saying the word ‘sit.’ I haven’t worked out the relevance of this yet, but I’m getting to eat loads of treats, so happy days!
The relationship between me and my cat brother, Toby, is starting to thaw a little. I’ve not been beaten up for several days and we’ve even sat on the same sofa without incident, albeit with Mum sitting between us. But then I had a sneaky idea! I waited until Toby was asleep, crept quietly off and underneath the sofa, where I wagged my tail furiously, making a banging noise on the sofa underside in the exact spot that Toby was directly above.
This scarred the poop out of him!
Monday 13th Feb
Mum and Dad don’t bother with their alarm clock anymore because they have a new puppy alarm. Me! There’s a squeaky floor board on the landing and if Mum or Dad have to get up for a wee in the night (they do most nights – it’s their age) they try no to step on it in case they wake me up. Dad got a direct hit at 1am this morning and that was my cue. At 2am Mum finally heard me barking and she came down to check I was OK, which I wasn’t. I’d done a poopy and stepped in it - that was why I was calling. Mum and Dad’s puppy alarm was half an hour late this morning. I had a lovely lay-in.
Toby and Dad have had a falling out this morning over Toby’s breakfast. When Toby tries a new type of cat food he loves it until Mum and Dad get in a huge box of the stuff, which is precisely when he goes off it. This morning Dad served up Toby the same meal he devoured in two minutes flat yesterday, but Toby just looked at Dad scornfully like he’d insulted his mother. I think the ensuing standoff may take a while to resolve.
Tuesday 14th Feb
Neddy is a 90 year old Steiff donkey on wheels. He’s not worth much but is a family heirloom, so when I started biting his wheels Dad told me off. Undaunted I got my blue cuddly bone and popped it next to Neddy so I could carry on wheel biting ‘under cover.’
Dad’s turned up with a bunch of flowers for Mum, muttering about exorbitant prices and Sainsbury’s ripping him off. Turns out it’s Valentines Day, and on this day Mum tells Dad not to get her flowers, but Dad knows he’ll be in trouble if he doesn’t. Sainsbury’s know about this arrangement and put their flower prices up just to annoy Dad, which is something they appear to be really good at. I’m feeling the love for Mr Fox, my favourite cuddly toy, but not in any kind of floral way – in a frenzied pummelling ’Fifty Shades of Puppy’ kind of way. Oooo yeah, Mr Fox I’m coming to get you!
Wednesday 15th Feb
This afternoon I did a slightly runny poo. I deposited it on my puppy training pad so Mum was pleased with me, but Dad was in loads of trouble. It’s not clear if it was the leaf I ate in the garden while Dad was in charge or whether it’s because he’s been feeding me too many training treats that's caused the unacceptably high poo moistness level, but according to Mum the whole stinking mess was definitely all his fault.
Thursday 16th Feb
I’ve been training Mum and Dad to play fetch. This involves me presenting one of them with a toy, which they have to throw to the other side of the room. I then run off and bring the toy back so they can have another go. Mum’s aim needs some work and Dad’s a little erratic with the length of his throw. I’m a highly manoeuvrable little puppy and my vorsprung dog technik four paw drive works brilliantly on carpet, but is a bit skiddy on the slippery kitchen floor. Dad thinks it’s funny when he throws my toy into the kitchen because I often end up sliding into the island unit. I am wondering whether he does this deliberately.
Friday 17th Feb
I must be completely honest with my dog blog readers. I don’t actually type this myself because I haven’t learned to type yet. I am after all a small puppy. In every other respect it’s all my own work and each evening I give Dad dogtation and he types it for me. I mention this because I’m wondering whether Dad will want anyone to know about this story, so he might not type it all. We were playing together and I was a little bitey. Dad was wearing his bed time pyjamas and was sitting on the floor. I jumped between his legs and bit him on the willy. I’ve never seen him move so fast, and neither has Mum because she said it was the most action Dad has had for ages.
As you’ll know if you read my first Dog Blog, my Dad thinks he’s some sort of hot shot photographer, but he’s met his match with me because I’m too speedy. In most of his photos I’m just a small hairy blur, and sometimes I’m not even fully in the frame. Here are some of my best ‘outtakes.’
Robin outtakes
I hope you've enjoyed reading my dog blog. If you missed part 1 you can read it by clicking on my picture below.
See you soon.
Robin
